Yes, the days seem longer, but it was still cold and snowy. And we were sick. It started with a stomach bug that Thursday after Charter screwed up our internet. I wasn't 100% until the next Monday or Tuesday. At that point Maggie was coming down with a cold, which hit us full force by the following weekend. And we were sick with that pretty much all of last week. As of Saturday night, I was feeling better but still coughing up goop.
Aside from the sickness, I just felt blank. Yes, I was having "the feels", but I just couldn't put any of it down in words. What I really wanted, practically every second of every day, was to go back to bed. I knew that was the depression talking, though, so I just stuck it out. I think part of it is that at this point I've been patiently waiting for spring for so long that it feels like it will never come. A March day in November would probably feel delightful. At this point though, I'm just so worn down that I can hardly stand the cold and snow anymore.
On Friday, I read a post on The Feminist Breeder about how she likes to organize when she's stressed. I am sort of the opposite. I tend to let things pile up until it's unbearable. However, I almost always feel much better when the piles are finally dealt with. Now, I'm going to trust all of you here when I share what I posted in response to one of the other readers who said that her clutter will build up sometimes as well. And the before and after pictures.
"I so hear that! Mess is one of my symptoms and also triggers for depression. Definitely a downward spiral. Usually it takes the husband getting fed up with it and going on a rampage for things to get straightened out. Rather than looking at everything like Tetris, I just sort of get overwhelmed and shut down. It sucks. It gets worse when I have a cold or don't feel well, too (like right now). You wouldn't want to see my kitchen counter at the moment...just the one surface looks like a hoarder's house. Piles. ><
But now I'm feeling inspired to clean it off. Maybe I'll take a before and after and post a link to the pictures. :)"
Just put me on TV. I'm a bad person.
OK. Majority of the garbage, dirty dishes, and food dealt with. At this point I needed a short break.
Second wind and I made a good sized dent made in the clutter. We can see the surface of the counter peninsula! Hooray! (Note: I did not align the fridge magnets. That was someone else. ;) )
And Saturday. Big piles of paper under control (sort of; I still had a big stack of "paper I don't know what to do with" on the kitchen table.) Neat line of things that belong in other rooms at the end of the counter. Appliances conquered; bread dough rising on the stove. Top of the fridge still needs help, but that will have to wait.
Pre-Sam, (well, pre-Sam's climbing days) I used to reward myself for tidying up the kitchen by lighting a scented candle I'd place on a plate on the stovetop. Unfortunately his idea of a good time these days is to push a large dining area chair or a counter stool into the kitchen, climb up, and open and close the microwave. It is terrifying. One of the few times we've spanked him has been for climbing like this. I really, really don't like or plan to do it...I don't think it helps communicate anything other than "Mommy is very angry". But he scares the crap out of me sometimes. So no lit candles in my house at the moment. You might also notice that the block of knives that used to be back in the corner to the right of the stove is now gone. I had other things piled in front of it, but now that Sam climbs it needs to be locked away. For the time being, it's on its side on the bottom shelf of the cabinet to the right of the microwave, and that cabinet will have a Sam-proof latch very soon.
Anyhow, the fridge still needs to be cleaned inside and out, and I need to go through the pantry and purge and reorganize. But my cabinets and drawers are mostly in good shape.
And I feel a bit better. And it's almost April.
It gets easier, I promise.
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